Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
