I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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