I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
