Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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