So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
