I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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