I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
