a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
