Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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