Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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