So drunk, too bad you don't want this
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
