i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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