So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
