THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
