I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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