its not stalking. its research.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
