I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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