Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
