Sry I called you an 8
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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