Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
