does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
