first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
