i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
