Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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