Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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