i would punch a child for taco bell
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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