no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
