D3 body, D1 cock
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
