he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
