Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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