Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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