Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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