giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
