brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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