umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
