Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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