This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i think my cat just said my name.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
