We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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