DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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