I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
