What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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