I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
