hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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