After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
