youre lurking in front of me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
