At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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