Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
