I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
