I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
