im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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