Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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