Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
