i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
well you can't waste a boner
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
