Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
