**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i think my mom watched the whole time
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
