i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
