So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
