Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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