I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
