its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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