I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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