Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
