he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
