chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
