wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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