Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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